29 8 / 2014
26 8 / 2014
It really sucks to never be the priority. My family dynamics are all kids of effed up and I try to stay out of it as much as possible but it still occasionally seeps in to my current life. As a single mom with crappy hours at the post office, my mom out-sourced most of my formative years to various relatives. Some were great and others locked me in her room on the regular so they could get high. I would scream and sob and beat on the door to get out which was all really traumatic. And the reason I’ve never done drugs. Whenever I see the uncle who locked me away I have nightmares for days and I just don’t have the time or energy to put up with that shit now that I have Finley. Waking up screaming and bed sharing don’t exactly go well together. Thankfully it’s not too difficult to avoid him because he lives in northern Minnesota but he’s here for the fair and my mom is all pissy and has been trying to guilt trip me because I refused to go with them. She gives zero fucks about what he did to me and thinks I’m just being dramatic because I don’t like him. OF COURSE I DON’T LIKE HIM! I don’t care how long ago it was, I would never have anything to do with anyone who repeatedly abused my child. This uncle is a complete waste of space and has been supported his entire life by assorted family members because he had leukemia in the late 60’s?? I don’t know, it doesn’t make sense to me either. My mom’s complete lack of empathy is really disheartening.
19 8 / 2014
I know that mom’s groups get a bad rap for cattiness and general assholery but I love the shit out of these ladies. There are definitely people in the larger group who aren’t my favorite but the smaller village we’ve created for ourselves is wonderful.
15 8 / 2014
- Wondering how will I ever have the words to explain the horrific injustices and systematic oppression in our world to Finley?
-/+ a certain baby woke up for the day before 6:00 this morning (normal is 8:30-9:30) but thankfully we got to take a long nap this afternoon. I should really take more naps.
- Brad had a pretty terrible day at work and I really wish I could make it better for him.
+ we went out for a delicious dinner and Finley was a delight.
- after dinner he threw up all over me while we were still in the restaurant.
- we’ve been exposed to roseola and hand, foot, mouth recently and I’m just waiting for one or both to descend. Hopefully not at the same time.
+ my friend birthed a 9lb 8 oz baby completely naturally on Tuesday! He has the largest hands I’ve ever seen.
++++++ it’s almost state fair time!!! Pretty sure I’m bringing a stroller this year which will be super awkward because I’ve never used it so I don’t have stroller skills. There’s no way that Finley would ever consider riding in it but I’m thinking it will be nice to put things in? Maybe?